Posted in Church of England, Humour, Life, Poem

The Devil’s Beatitudes

If the Devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church — they are my best workers.
Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked — I can use them.
Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to church — they are my missionaries.
Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone’s nerves — they are mine forever.
Blessed are the troublemakers — they shall be called my children.
Blessed are those who have no time to pray — they are easy prey for me.
Blessed are the gossiper — for they are my secret agents.
Blessed are those critical of church leadership — for they shall inherit a place with me in my fate.
Blessed are the complainers — I’m all ears for them.
Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself — I’ve got you.




I'm not sure what to say about myself - I never know what to put here...I'm a thirtysomething female, who has a chocolate Labrador called Rosie. I love music, films, photography, walking, and reading.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s